Robertor the Goalinator

Robertor the Goalinator
by Chris Clarke

This story was inspired by Strongbad and Trogdor two characters @ www.homestarrunner.com
Check the site out it is a classic that has earned lots off laughs from me. Hope you enjoy this random little story.

Robertor the Goalinator is Trogdor the Burninator's 2nd youngest nephew. While developing into his own form of utter majesty Robertor exudes many of the same excellences of his Uncle.

You see Trogdor's sister moved to Canada from Cali because she heard there were more buffalo's too eat. While she was there she was wooed by BlackFoot the mightiest aboriginal dragon of them all. Of course everyone knows how BlackFoot got his name. His Mom coughed fire on his feet a few moments after he was born... Good thing for the snow in Canada eh??? Yeah so Robertor comes from a high level of Dragon Breeding. Must be why he is such an amazing goalie. Or maybe its cuz he burns the puck into ash before it can go in so it never ever fully passes the goal line. Whatever.... Among Robertor's standout attributes are the way he always burns his goal stick to charcoal black and how he still hasn't ditched the habit of chewing the knobbed end like a pencil. He broke the top last week but still manages. The stick seems to be mostly decoration anyway...........
Robertor was actually recently potty trained... Before last week every once in a while during a game he would leave a large pile of usually purple sewage in the crease... This was no good because the steaming hot lumps would melt the ice and make skating more difficult... The opposing team also had trouble maintaining consciousness in his zone...
One feature that sets Robertor apart from the other more normal goalies is his lack of teeth. All the other goalies seem to have full mouth racks and no major scars on their "baby faces" because of their goal masks. Due to Robertor's awkwardly shaped head there are no masks that seem to fit him. When asked about this apparant conundrum Robertor shrugs it off and refers to the other goalies as chickens or drumsticks.

The femalion dragons all seem to flock to Robertor's side. From his styling look with the crispy black shag to his rugged lack of teeth; Robertor has turned into somewhat of a celebrity.

Last season had a highly eventful finish for Robertor and his Dranucks. Due to some awesome leadership from their tireless captain, some slick plays by the better than most twins and most importantly an unending streak of brilliant play from Robertor the Dranucks conquered the hockey world winning the Larry's Mug... The most eventful moment came in the dressing room celebration when Robertor was trying to sip from the trophy. Incredibly the sparks in Robertor's throat set the wine ablaze causing him to sneeze effectively melting the large silver trophy to a large silver puddle on the floor. In a happy ending to this story Robertor spent the off season with a silversmith controlling his flame throwing capabilities and the mug was restored to its previous luster.

Robertor's career is on a hall of fame path, only time will tell if he'll be the first non humanoid to enter the great hall...