Headaches and Essays

Just cruised through this piece for my creative writing class. I wish I could just write the dang essay this efficiently. I would have been done on Friday with a splendid mark.

It’s the same as being trapped in a room;

ominous walls,

black.

I sit in the middle under warehouse lighting;

flickering, unforgiving,

piercing.

Back twinges, knee throbs, I’m in a cheap desk;

particle board,

wobbly.

Fleshy gears grate as I press my existence upward;

doomed ascent, 

hopeless.

Towering above all but the ceiling and lights;

fragilely erect,

solitary.

Confinement of imagination and senses;

prescribed fatigue,

dust.

Chalk hangs ready in the air as I approach the wall;

stifling, 

dry.

I take the chalk as I access the prescribed headings;

beginning, middle,

end.

Intro, thesis, body, torso, chest,

abdomen, core,

chaos.

I conclude I must start again, again;

aimless, confused,

pointless.

Each hollow word scratched to the chorus 

of a classroom full of raucous kindergarteners 

writing hate with their fingernails;

reverberating feedback,

failure. 

Heading West Weeks 3-5

Five weeks goes far too quickly.

It seems like just yesterday I was scrambling my gear and bags together in my room preparing to leave. Memories, laughter, learning and some deep thought lay between where I sit in Vancouver Airport now and those moments of prep.

In my last update (link) I left off at the end of our 2nd week of camps in Campbell River. After that week we went to Prince George for what was our busiest week of work. At Prince George we had 2 groups of players training with us both much larger than the group of 11 at Campbell River. Here I thankfully had help instructing the goalies from a teacher at a local Christian School. Despite the extra hand I was required to be on the ice for both ice times for both groups plus the staff games. As a result this was easily the most exhausting of all 5 weeks. The camp started on Sunday and by Thursday's end I had logged around 26 hours of ice time. Despite the exhaustion this week's efforts were the source of one of the most rewarding experiences of my summer. Our youngest goalie in this camp was coming out to play goalie for the first time in his life. On the first day he hit the ice he staggered emphatically and often while skating the warmup laps but everytime we hit the ice he progressed. By the end of the week he was able to skate comfortably enough in his crease to consistently move out on his angle without getting out of position. This development moved him from stopping 50-60% of shots in drills to between 80 and 90% of shots by the end of the week. Additionally his hard work paid off in Friday's game where he, up against six other goalies, let in the fewest goals between the two scrimmages. His drastic improvement was encouraging on its own but it was a gesture by him and his parents that really helped me realize the impact I was making in these camps, even with a depleting energy supply. At the end of the camp he and his parents presented me with a Tim Card which had a a few short sentences from his parents  that remain incredibly meaningful to me.

Thank you for spending such quality time with R___. His first time as a goalie has been such a positive experience. We appreciate your positive attitude, skill and encouragement for the players.  

It was in reflecting on this week that I came to realize the incredible impact I could and was having all while having a tremendous amount of fun. R___ and his parents were so appreciative of this camp that they signed up to attend the final week of YWAM Hockey Camp this year in Kelowna but unfortunately it didn't work out that they could attend.

Staff and students of the older group at Prince George

Weeks 4 and 5 of camps took us to beautiful Kelowna, BC. For both weeks I had the tremendous privilege of working with another goalie instructor named Josh. Funny, outgoing, laid back, talented (especially technically) and intelligent; Josh is truly a class act person. He was especially helpful the first week when YWAM Hockey ran it's first ever Elite Camp. At this camp we had only two goalies but there was a drastic contrast between them. One was among the youngest of the campers while the other will be in has last year next year. The elder was amongst the most technically sound goalies we saw in the 5 weeks and the younger excelled in many areas not technical. Josh's technical expertise was especially useful and we worked cohesively together using our contrasting skill sets to improve all the areas of these goalies' games.

Week 4 was not only memorable for being the first elite camp YWAM Hockey has done but for the incredible family we were billeting with. This family of 5 included 2 older boys, who both participated in the camp with us, and a 4 year old daughter. Highlights with this family included a marvelous boat ride (including some AWESOME TUBING) on one of Kelowna's splendid lakes and a night of attempting to do strange things with spaghetti noodles. The noodle incident inspired me to write a rather ridiculous song which I hope eventually to impose over some video footage of the night. For the song go here (link). I'll add the video component if/when I get it done.

Josh and I with the goalies from week 4

Week 5 bore some major similarities to the week in Prince George. There were two groups of kids going through the camps and the youngest goalie was again playing goal for the first time ever. Unlike Prince George I wasn't required to be on the ice for all of both groups' ice times, but rather I was allowed to be with the younger group through all of the week. It was a real privilege to be able to lead a small group and participate in ball hockey again after having to miss these in Prince George (the Elite camp used a different schedule which didn't include small groups or ball hockey). In this camp the youngest goalie struggled to improve each day. In the first two days of camp he had to try to play in forward's skates which were greatly hampering his ability to keep his balance while facing shots. I explained the differences between player skates and goalie skates to his mother who was able to find him a pair by midway through the week. After adjusting to the drastic change a pair goalie skates does to how you feel on the ice the difference in his play was incredible. The other goalies I got to work with in this week were very enthusiastic netminders who worked exceptionally hard, left room for laughing and created helped out by encouraging the first timer. This hopefully compounded with the efforts of I and the other staff to show Christ's love to the young goalie and his Mom. I'm confident that we've made an impact and planted a seed, hopefully a seed which grows.

The Blue Bruisers protecting their goalie in the ball hockey championship

Wrapping these five weeks up has been difficult especially because of how fast they went by. One thing that I'll take away for sure is that I need to be working in fields that I am passionate about. Coaching, teaching, justice, hockey and music are things that I can identify a passion for and all of these are held in place by my desire to serve God with my life. In the last few days I've been thinking a lot about a quote I've recalled from some of my YWAM training and how I relate to it:

Your calling lies at the place in which your great passion and the world's need intersect. 

I anticipate that I will be exploring calling and vocation excessively with my thoughts and experiments in the immediate future. This starts with an audition this Saturday to become a busker in the Toronto Transit System. Please pray for me as I prepare for the first musical audition of my life.

God Bless.

Hockey Summer Weeks 1 and 2

Hello friends and family! It’s been a tremendous and busy fury of events over the course of my first few weeks out here in BC. As many of you know I’m spending six weeks with YWAM Hockey helping to run Christ centered hockey camps across BC and in Calgary. Our first week of camp was in Calgary and it rapidly slipped by as a successful camp. Calgary was very much the prototypical YWAM Hockey Camp in the way that things were scheduled and so to give everyone an idea of what my weeks are looking like I’m gonna walk you through the basic schedule we used in Calgary. 

On Saturday July 7th we left Vancouver early in the morning to make the drive to Calgary which included a stop in beautiful Banff. 

Sunday was a day off which I was lucky enough to spend with my sister Christina, her fiancee Harland at the 100th Calgary Stampede. It was a fantastic time where we stumbled across a pretty awesome celebrity.

Monday to Thursday we were up at 6-6:30am in order to be ready to get to the arena prior to the kids. These days begin with a 1.5 hour ice time where I get to spend 30-40 minutes training the goalies and running drills to help their technique, strength, positioning and so on. After changing out of hockey gear we run dry land exercises, have lunch in small groups, then play two half-hour road hockey games which over the course of the week work into a mini tournament. We then finish up with another ice time where I usually get another 20 minutes to work with my goalies before they face shots from their peers doing drills and/or a scrimmage. Each day ends with a chapel time in the locker room where a local talks with the kids about hockey and the gospel. Three times a week the YWAM Hockey staff hosts local players to a game of shinny in the evening after these camps end. 

Fridays are a busy start as we have one more practice session of an hour and half followed by one more chapel time in the locker room and a game refereed by the staff, complete with a running timer, scoreboard, goal horns, warm up music and lots of cheering. In Calgary I had the privilege of running the scoreboard and music with another staff member who joined us from Russia. 

Being the goalie instructor for these weeks has been a tremendous privilege as I’ve grown close with 5 remarkable young goalies over the course of the last two weeks. The four goalies I worked with in Calgary were each quite unique but the four of us quickly bonded as a unit cheering for one-another’s success and holding each other accountable. The oldest of these goalies was a tremendous young man who showed and developed his tremendous leadership on and off the ice. Each of these goalies showed fantastic improvements in their skating techniques in the crease especially the second youngest goalie whose work ethic from improved as the week went on. This past week in Campbell River I worked with one goalie who has a tremendous amount of high end potential and raw skill. We spent much of the week working on developing his leg strength and I was constantly pushing him to improve his stick positioning which he had by the end of the week. Working with this keeper, who was the only non churched student in this very small camp, was a true opportunity to show God’s love through hands on help, encouragement and by genuinely caring for and loving him. As the week progressed he became inquisitive during chapel times and seemed to grow comfortable in the Christian environment of this camp. 

Evenings off in Calgary were largely spent recovering from the physical strain of an intense workout we did prior to leaving Vancouver which was causing me some on ice difficulty, especially during the scrimmages after camp ended. As I recovered through the week I was able to spend some more time with our host family and their wonderfully energetic children. The three boys were a delightfully rowdy bunch who loved to play ministicks, wrestle and be generally rambunctious. Needless to say I felt right at home. 

Evenings off in Campbell River were quite different. We stayed with a family whose son will be headed to University in September and were privileged to spend lots of time with his group of Christian friends in the area. Highlights from this time included an evening soccer game (I didn’t run much to preserve my foot), cliff jumping into a very beautiful local river (see photo, I jumped once from 45 feet) and a beach fire with lots of singing and a cold and brief dip into the Pacific. It was a real blessing to spend time with this group of friends who we were told have experienced some difficulty in their faith walks recently due to some issues in the Church there. It was marvelous to be told by the parents that we were as much of a blessing to this group as they were to us. 

We were blessed to have a fairly clear ride home on the ferry from the Island today where I got this beautiful shot and ended up playing my guitar on the upper deck garnering some praise from other riders:

These first two weeks of camp have flown by and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Tomorrow we drive to Prince George and follow that up with 2 weeks of camps in beautiful Kelowna. Please keep my foot and general body in prayer as it is holding up but still isn’t pain free. The year of inactivity due to the foot injury has me sore in a variety of places quite regularly on top of the regular bruises that come with being a goaltender. 

Thanks for your prayers, support, love and care. I look forward to seeing you all again soon. 

Chris. 

Vancouver Again!!

Vancouver, British Columbia. Wow. I love this place. Loved it when I first came here five years ago, loved it ever since. There really is something special about this city.

So many of the parts about this city I remember loving are the same. Commercial Drive remains the coolest stretch of storefronts, restaurants, bars and cafes that I've seen in North America. Hands down. East Hastings (yes the dangerous part) remains a place of need, but, a place filled with people I am comfortable with and love to help whenever I get the chance. The transit system works great and on a clear day, like today, there are mountains visible in every direction. SO COOL.

Upon first arriving at "the Drive" down near Broadview Station my mind was awakened with memories and stories from all kinds of places as I and my gracious host walked North to the comfy little bachelor I've been provided since Monday. Starting with Uncle Fatih's Pizza where I'd enjoyed many a slice as suggested by the local YWAMers who would regularly order from there and told stories of the quality and service provided. There was also Addis Cafe, a spectacular Ethiopian restaurant which was a frequent stop for the teams hosted by YWAM's "Mission Adventures" program which I was helping to facilitate that summer. On top of the restaurants were the many cafes of which I remember Continental Cafe the best because we once used it as a place to brief one of our Mission Adventures teams on why we love Vancouver.

Loving Vancouver was easy being surrounded by these people. They were ripe with excitement about the city they lived in. I learned from them the importance of loving our place, wherever that is and when I left to return to Toronto after that summer I was excited about learning how to love Toronto. 

Since returning to TO there's been lots of bumps and bruises. I've come to call Toronto home and have all sorts of places, stories and people who root me there, but also a lot of pain. The difficulties of having to quickly leave both YWAM and the Church I worked in after YWAM under "messy" circumstances has, with the many difficulties faced by my present community (Jeremiah Community) been draining on every level. Additionally, even with everything we've come through I look ahead and see a daunting task for those of us left in the JC as in some facets we seem to be back at square one of planting the community.  

So I've needed a break, and what a great place for a break. Sharing lunches with old friends and making new friends in the "Servants Vancouver" community has really been a beautiful compliment to the lonely wandering I've otherwise been doing here. A lonely wandering that has me thinking more clearly than I have in months and is getting me more excited for the hockey to start and more excited to return and make another go of finding and establishing home in Toronto. A home that is Christ centered, justice focused, loving and life giving. A home that is a catalyst for the Kingdom of God, a Kingdom coming yes but more importantly a Kingdom available now if only we would love God and love EVERYONE as he has loved us. 

Thanks to everyone who made it possible for me to come here. Thanks especially Mom, you are the best!

God Bless.