Beep, beep, beep...
Morning already!? When on Earth did I finally fall asleep last night?
Eyes burning I look through a fog at the same pattern I fell asleep staring at last night, the night before and before that. This morning, as most others, I wasn't so gentle to my alarm clock. So begins a day as most others. Fading into each other rarely with enough excitement to remember any.
Where are my crocs? I know I wore them in here last night.
Now sitting up in bed with my bed sweat back exposed to the rigid chill of leaving the blankets. I catch a glimpse of my crocs, which are important to me for the same reasons one's house slippers are important to them, and kick yesterday's pants into projectile motion. As my pants hit the floor I hear a discomforting thud.
It sure is a good thing I've got a tough cell phone. Why am I so ignorant in the morning?
I slip my recently exposed crocs on and stand up. My left hand instinctively catches my blanket before it hits the floor and whips it back onto the bed. I know my odds of finding my bed ready and made that night are slim.
Gosh I'm hungry. Some extra fruit with breakfast would be nice.
________________________________________
So began my day, much the same as any other, ready to blend one to another and be forgotten.
Now the significance of this day has yet to be determined. New ideas were hatched, and old ones reinforced, but, how far that carries, this Author has not the foresight to tell.
The first significant events of the day were simple enough. The alarm was set extremely early in relation to most days and I was to meet a my Pastor and a friend across town.
________________________________________
Ding, dang, dong, the subway is constantly chiming. Chimes for the doors to open and chimes for the doors to close. I was quite dozy on the subway considering how easily I'd gotten up and through my routine.
Man I better pull out my book and read so I don't fall asleep. There has got to be a seat somewhere.
Standing at the subway's door I had realized I was in the way. Glancing around I noticed what looked to be the last seat in the car just on the other side of the girl reading beside me. Truthfully I noticed the girl more than the seat and shuffled to it. She had splendid complexion and the shape of her face was attractive despite not getting a square look at it. What I'd have done for a hint at what she was reading or a glimpse of her smile. I started reading and heard the loudspeaker announce "The next stop is St. George, St. George Station."
Man she'll get off here. Why don't I ever have the guts to say anything?
She got off and the ride lingered on in disappointment. I wished I were a more "manly" man.
________________________________________
I got out of the subway and followed signs to the southbound 505 streetcar. This could have been an exhilarating search but, I often find myself trying to find my way to some random location in unknown territory. Both my Mom and Dad are great for direction and I'd seen a map so I had no worries about where I was going. I knew what I was doing.
The real exhilaration started when I left the streetcar. Last night brought had brought the first real snowfall of the year and this was the first I'd got to walk in it. That and being in a mostly new place made it seem like Winter Wonderland.
I crossed over the Don Valley and I could see the Parkway. Along the sides of the valley the trees were freshly frosted and glowing in early morning's blue light. Up ahead was a top of the line car dealership with cars on display in the third, fourth and fifth floor windows. Normally this rash of materialism would have irked me, but, the white surroundings blended with the showrooms well making the Beamer - or whatever car it was - on the fifth floor especially appealing. It was about here that I realized just how beautiful my surroundings were and I my brain clicked informing me that it was the Don River flowing below.
Hey I raised money to protect this river in the fall... It's looking well enough.
I'm sure there are better times for the untrained eye to judge the condition of a river than just after the first snowfall in the semi lighting of an early morning. Whatever the case I enjoyed the walk.
I was meeting a friend and we were to be picked up by my Pastor to head off to Hamilton. There we'd be facilitating a program teaching kids some ways to successfully deal with their anger. We stopped for coffee and hot chocolate and the ride was very quiet.
In Hamilton we had some breakfast before the program started. Pastor Joe said something significant that I agreed with, but, that it was good to hear from someone else, especially my authority figure. Basically he mused that if God wants to speak to us he'll get his words in. How difficult could it be for the creator of the Universe to get his message across? He also referred to Micah 5:8 whcih has some basic procedure in the absence of guidance from God; do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God.
________________________________________
Soon the program had started and I found myself, it being my first day, wishing none but the best for all the lads. Each somehow reminded me of myself at their age and I longed to be the voice to them I almost never had.
Jordan don't quit now man, if you do you'll quit all your life- Drake seems calm enough I wonder what he's here for? - Tyler sit down man...
The day seemed like a success. I was able to talk with a boy named Randall and we related pretty well. It was so easy to be relevant with these boys they were just like I was... or am. I found it ironic that the principal had apparently told one of the boys we were there to help them transition into being men.
The drive home was interesting as Joe and I talked about expanding the program from Hamilton to Toronto. We got back around four and I soon found myself reading the back half of Treasure Island. I finished it about Eight having taken a break for supper at some point.
I'll just have cereal and berries, it's about all I've got and cereal is cheap enough right now.
I then spent some time on the computer getting some chords for some new songs and learning a little about the common chord scales. I soon came back to my room, played guitar for a bit and decided to read some more. This is where the inspiration came from that might make today extraordinary. I decided to read a short story called "The Snows of Kilimanjaro" by Ernest Hemingway. It's a narrative of a would be Author about his death and he says this:
He had destroyed his talent by not using it, by betrayals of himself and what he believed in, by drinking so much that he blunted the end of his perceptions, by laziness, by sloth, and by snobbery, by pride and by prejudice, by hook and by crook... What was his talent anyway? It was a talent all right but instead of using it he traded on it. It was never what he had done but what he could do. And he had chosen to make his living with something else other than a pen and pencil.
Ernest Hemingway - The Snows of Kilimanjaro - pg 60 "Hemingway: The Short Stories"
I'm the one wasting talent! I need to write stuff down! I need to try and get published. I need to stop being the guy that can do and become the guy that has done and is doing!
For a brief moment everything made sense to me.
I'm going to University to study literature so my own can improve. Maybe I'll also be a teacher or something fantastic like that, but, I cannot waste more time. I have talents I need to develop and use.
Guidance doesn't often come much clearer than this. Go use your talents, do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God. Some of you would cross that last one off but I challenge you to try it. Whatever happens this is my path, where it takes me I know not for this author lacks the foresight to tell.
